7 Techniques For Bonding With Others

“Two people holding cups of coffee while seated opposite to each other at a round table” by Joshua Ness on Unsplash

The Significance of Insignificance

Remember something trivial about other people and let them know you remember this minor detail. Remembering something small about someone communicates you find them significant.

Unexpected Shared Experiences

Unexpected shared experiences make a more lasting impression on our memory. I’ve gone out for dinner at my favorite restaurant dozens of times. One memory that sticks out is when we got a flat tire five-hundred feet from the restaurant. We limped into the parking lot, called for service and proceeded inside for dinner. The oddity of that experience gets remembered and creates bonding moments.

Contagiation (Contagious + Association)

Do you always show up at a friends house on a day of bad news or even bad weather? Associating your self with items of negative connotation can contaminate your standing with other people.

Unsolicited Nicety

It’s hard to be mad at someone who gives you ice cream (especially when they don’t ask for it). I’m not sure where that quote originated but it encapsulates the lesson with perfection.

The Unlikely Defender

Have you ever been in a conversation with a group of people and someone says something offensive? Stunned silence follows as everyone digests the offensive remark. It’s surprising at how often nobody challenges these remarks. Online, the challenges flow. In face to face group discussions, there is a tendency to ignore and move on.

The Theory Of Relativity

The passage of time speeds relationship building. More frequent exposure and shared experiences in a short time frame give the illusion of more time passing.

The Intensity Ending Effect

We tend to form memories of an event by remembering the intensity of it and how it ended. A strong ending and positive peak intensity lead to a more positive recall of the experience. Of course, the peak intensity should have a favorable resolution. In other words, your peak intensity shouldn’t end with someone crying in despair. It could be a feeling of victory, relief or overcoming adversity.

Experimenter in life, productivity, and creativity. Work in Forge | Elemental | Business Insider | GMP | Contact: barry@barry-davret dot com.

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