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5 Persuasion Techniques That Aren’t Manipulative
For both quiet and outgoing people
On an otherwise routine Monday in 1994, I witnessed a remarkable demonstration of persuasion.
I was a stockbroker trainee on Wall Street at the time. On a typical Monday, my boss’s nail technician would come to the office for his weekly manicure/pedicure. I sat at a desk across from his, and thankfully I faced a wall.
But on this day, with his nail tech doing her thing, he commanded me to turn and look at him. He wanted to train me.
“I can persuade anyone,” he said in his thick Brooklyn accent. “Listen.”
With the speakerphone blaring, he finessed his way past the receptionist and assistant, and finally landed the prospect. And then he patiently endured a tirade of foul-mouthed language. “Now, I’ll turn him,” he said after muting the phone.
And he did. He then repeated his success on two more people, generating sales that totaled tens of thousands of dollars.
With his nail technician now working on his feet, he said, “That paid my rent.”
Years later, I found a mentor who followed the same principles but without the theatrics. In fact, he was a quiet person like me. He proved that you don’t need flashy charisma or charm to master the art of persuasion. You only need to learn and practice the principles.
And if you’re worried about being manipulative, that’s a good thing. Keep your intent honorable and be honest. Above all, remember that it’s your job to help the other person change their mind, not to decide for them.
These five techniques may surprise you. Some contradict conventional wisdom, but the best persuaders follow them diligently.
1. Get them to say “no”
There’s a mindset out there that you must get people to say yes multiple times. And then magically, they’ll accede to your demands. Does it work? Sometimes, I guess. But often, the other person senses what you’re doing, feels the pressure, and goes red alert. They close their mind to new ideas and distrust everything they hear.
To persuade, you must get the other person to relax. Only then do you have a chance…
