Member-only story

How To Build Relationships When You’re Not A People-Person

Five strategies for the quiet, contemplative type

Barry Davret
5 min readFeb 16, 2020

Back in the 90s, job seekers used to highlight “people-person” as a skill on their resumé. Now it’s just assumed that everyone who interacts with the world possesses this trait.

The dictionary defines it as an outgoing, gregarious person with good communication skills.

Nobody would ever describe me as a people-person. Sure, I enjoy interacting with others, but I prefer it in small doses. After an hour or so, I reach a point of saturation. I feel the urge to escape and recuperate in isolation.

Put me in the middle of a group; I won’t stand out. Throw me into a room with networkers; I won’t own the room, whatever that means. Our culture values chattiness over thoughtfulness, but that doesn’t mean you can’t remain true to yourself while adapting to the world.

The struggle of “quiet contemplatives”

There’s a name for people like us. We’re the quiet-contemplatives. We do a lot of thinking, but many of those thoughts never materialize as vocal expressions. Some folks interpret your economy with words as rude, boring, or disinterest.

--

--

Barry Davret
Barry Davret

Written by Barry Davret

Work in Forge | Elemental | BI | GMP | Others | Contact: barry@barry-davret dot com. Join Medium for full access: https://barry-davret.medium.com/membership

Responses (6)