How To Judge People Thoughtfully
The five techniques
You know when someone’s judging you harshly even when they won’t say it to your face. Their eyes narrow, lips tighten, forehead creases. They usually refrain from shaking their head unless they want to provoke a response. You can sense their disapproval even when someone goes through the trouble of controlling their body language.
As much as we hate when others judge us, whether direct or passive-aggressive, we all engage in the same behavior.
We’re human, and it’s part of our DNA. Avoiding judgment of others would require a herculean effort of self-control and mental discipline that few people in the world possess. Still, even though we have little choice but to participate in this human tradition, with a conscious effort and a few thoughtful techniques, we can judge others in a way that demonstrates empathy, understanding, and acceptance even if we disapprove of their beliefs and life choices.
Most people use heuristics to evaluate people — a mental shortcut to making decisions and judgments when faced with incomplete information.
Here’s how it works.
Let’s suppose you’re walking down the street of a big city. It’s nighttime, and a woman dressed in a business suit speaking on the phone zooms past you. Would you judge her as a…
