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How To Turn Resiliency Into A Habit
The 25-year lens
I don’t recall what Cara looked like, only what she said on our first and only date —some vague reference to my thinning hair. Time has clouded my memory, so I can’t claim her comment was intended as an insult. Perhaps she found it attractive or distinctive, and I merely misinterpreted her words.
Regardless, the effect it had on my confidence devastated me for almost a decade.
Back in the 90s, as a young twenty-something, the smallest insult, the most insignificant rejection, and even the hint of indifference would decimate my self-esteem, sending my anxiety off the charts.
Had I come of age in modern times, you would have labeled me a snowflake. Minor rejections and failures devastated my psyche so much, I avoided almost all interactions where such an outcome might repeat, even if it meant giving up on opportunities I desired.
But as I came to realize, always choosing the safe path led to a life of boredom, and I found myself desperate to build some resiliency, grit, thick-skinnedness, or whatever you want to call it.
In my darkest moments, I found myself eschewing social interactions altogether. This avoidance strategy felt safe in the moment, but it led to boredom and the general malaise feeling of a wasted life.
