Member-only story
What If You’re NOT A People Person?
Don’t Worry. There’s Nothing Wrong With You
I like people. I like to learn about people. I like to hang out with people, just not that much. I recently attended a conference and had to explain this to another attendee. She asked me why I didn’t go to the after party. I mentioned I wasn’t a “people person.” After eight hours with a group of forty strangers, I needed a break.
The conversation devolved from there. Compassion. Sympathy. Pity. Disgust. I explained that I like to hang out with some people when the mood strikes, but I’m also happy spending time alone reading a book. She didn’t think that was normal and offered some advice.
“I see a therapist who’s been a great help to me with social anxiety,” she said.
Did I tell her I had social anxiety? I don’t think so. Her intention was pure, so I thanked her for the advice. I used to believe something was wrong with me. Everyone likes to go out and meet new people. I desire that on occasion too, but only if it’s a small group. I went out with the group the next night after the conference. I had gotten to know a few of the folks and felt more eager to socialize.
Let’s start with the basics.
